I Was a Punk

Way back when, I was a punk.

Or...I always wished I could be. Around 8th grade and high school, I was digging everything punk. No other music existed execpt Tiger Army, Bad Religion, Dropkick Murphys (i.e. Epitaph + a few others) and a handful of other bands...I envied the people who could wear tight plaid pants and crusty leather vests. Believe me, I don't want any part of that now, but as an angry whiny 14 year old, there was nothing better.

Man, I was a punk. I was "antigovernment" (to a degree)--heck, I even had a phase where I was like "communism this and that!" spouting quotes from the Manifesto: on one hand genuinely knowing it was ridiculous after reading it, and on the other secretly liking telling other people about it. Nothing makes a snotty little high school kid feel smarter than slingin' the bourgeois to the ground--and having the words to back it up.

As I grew up, I started to like hardcore. Partly because the music was angry, and as high school progressed, I was getting angrier (in the way that awkward asian kids in AP classes get angry). Partly because it was easier to "be hardcore" without wearing tight pants and boots. I went to hardcore shows, got right up next to the pit and fended off flying fists (without getting in the pit mind you...I can't get my glasses broken). Gorilla Biscuits...man, hardcore couldn't get any better. (And that was also probably the problem with it.)

My parents, I know, hated me as high school reached it's waning years. I was terrible. And secretly, it was fun.

The last stand was the day before my first day of school at USC. My sister took me to the Gorilla Biscuits reunion show at Chain Reaction in Anaheim. My God, that was fun...I nearly got my head banged off that night by a totally ridiculous, furry looking chap in front of me. Good times.

And it was then that I parted, quite amiably and on good terms, with my punk self and came to terms with being a snobby indie college kid. I wouldn't completely brush punk off...I did once, during freshman year, go to see The Damned at the House of Blues Hollywood. But come on...The Damned were all pushing 40, and it's the House of Blues for mikesake. Still an amazing and fun show as I, for one last time, got right next to the pit and danced my feet off.

I still listen to Richard Hell, Dead Boys, Cock Sparrer, and Stiff Little Fingers quite often (you could say my taste in punk grew up...if anything, grew up in a more "indie" sensibility)...but just to listen. Always exciting, always fun, reminds me of good ol' times. I no longer believe or condone many of the aspects of punk today, or the ideas that form the core of punk. I'm more mature now, a little more responsible in contrast to those radical ideas.

At the same time I could say, quite proudly, I am who I am now because of those raucous roots. Punk is about the challenge to the things we know (and about the complaining, often.) It's one thing to simply think something is wrong, but another thing entirely to challenge it. Often, punk challenges notions in order to represent what they think is best for everyone, and in the way they think is most morally objective. However naive that may be (usually very naive), it's a beautiful sense of justice and fighting for what's "right." Yes, some punks are violent--a few for the sake of hedonism, but others only for the sake of reaching the ends (i.e. justice) in the quickest way possible.

I've taken away a great sense of justice, awareness of others, and a sense of rebellion and skepticism toward mob and media mentalities--a cynicism towards the ideas that only a few-and-powerful-type believe or at least want others to believe. To challenge what others are making us believe by way of their money; instead to seek a greater, higher understanding of what's right. Even Law itself can be flawed--not just flawed sometimes, but fatally flawed.

All those are great things to learn.

Sure, punk isn't the only way to understand those things. It probably isn't even the best way to gain any of that.

But damn, was it a fun way to do it.

Blank Generation - Richard Hell & The Voidoids