[You may need to read the post before this for proper context.]
Make no mistake. I'm evidence of Oxnard. By choice or not (more than likely, not), I am. I can't call it home though...not anymore. Born and raised, born and raised...but that doesn't mean much really...
To grow up in Oxnard is to at once know both want, have, and the strange combination of the two. Much of Oxnard consists of Hispanic farm workers or day laborers who work harder than most people could imagine. Stroll through Colonia or any number of other neighborhoods and you might understand. At the same time, as many farms as Oxnard has, it's very commercialized. Beach communities with expensive houses, 2500+ sq. ft. golf course-side houses (large for Oxnard), on and on. One of the tallest buildings between Los Angeles and San Jose or San Francisco even. Wants and haves.
Maybe--ok, probably fortunately, I've been more towards the "want" camp for much of my childhood, and probably greatly credited to my parents. I always wanted, and rarely ever got, really. Nintendo 64? Believe me, in 5th and 6th grades, I tried hard those Christmases...guess I wasn't nice enough for Santa. Car? Tough luck. The ultimatum from my parents to a 15-year-old me:
"Do you want a car? Or do you want to go to college?"
Um...car? Even now...my sister's car is 15 years old and chugs like a boat...quite entertaining. But my parents are thinking about donating the car and helping my sister with the payments on a new(er) car. That's all well and generous...but maybe they could do that after they've donated the car to me...
Anyways. As I started to realize, other people my age in Oxnard implicitly received this same ultimatum. And many of them seemed to opt for the car. I'm not saying that if you get a car in high school you won't have enough money for college, hell no! No mutual exclusion here. But--the thing about Oxnard is this convergence of wants and haves. Oxnard, for all its luxury beach houses, still isn't an affluent city by any stretch. At least not affluent enough for many people to comfortably afford to buy a car and finance a college education. Some people my age have nicer cars than my parents or my employed, college-graduate sisters. They sure as hell have nicer cell phones, and better cell phone plans. People want, and people get...but they can't get it all. That car ain't gonna drive you out of Oxnard, no it ain't...
As humbling as Oxnard can be, it can also give you the sense that maybe just having that car with spinners and a subwoofer, and having that phone, is enough to give you status and thus enough to give you happiness. Up to this point, really, there doesn't seem to be too much different from anywhere else in the country. And even after what I say later, it still may not be that different, but it's different enough from other places I've seen. The thing about Oxnard is that once you have all that, there's nowhere else to go. It's damn hard to go up. It's hard to go up on a high school education. Hell, it's even hard to go up on a community college education, if you think you need to work full time while studying. What's there to aspire to? A promotion in retail? I've done retail for long enough, and can't fathom that there's anything worth aspiring to there. Is that the dream? That extra dollar an hour? And then there's still the fact that besides the total lack of mobility, there STILL ain't shit to do.
I know everyone dreams. That's no different from anywhere else. But how many years past youth those dreams last, maybe that's something a little special to Oxnard. Oxnard can be a beautiful place, that's for sure. And it can be fun with the right attitude. But making something out of very little wears thin, especially after 19 years. But at the heart of it, something--I'm not sure what--makes stagnation so easy, so attractive.
I can't imagine staying here any longer than I have, and yet people do. I don't need the riches, I don't need the extravagances of an affluent city...I just want a place that gives not just me but everyone space to build their own destiny, and if not build it, at least explore it. Not the commercial establishments that give us all the illusion that we're doing something unique, when in fact we're just following predetermined paths.
I used to think that Oxnard grounded me. I used to think that people in Oxnard are for the most part inherently humble. And while that's not entirely false, I've started to find flaws in that idea. This wouldn't be nearly as frustrating if it weren't for the fact that it doesn't have to be this way. Oxnard's no small town without resources and connections. It's not so big that everyone wants to isolate themselves from the other. I think the potential is there for anyone in Oxnard to become humble, yet confident. To be ambitious. But it's a choice. Car or college? Doughnuts or waffle fries? Spinners or strawberries?
Oxnard is the big city. Oxnard is the small farm town.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Farms, Beaches, Etc.
Oxnard, California. My hometown. I'll talk about how I fit into this city and how this city inseparably fits into me (for better or for worse), but first we have to see what this city is (this IS my blog and about ME, after all...don't judge me...). Let's run down how the we roll...
Farms. Supposed Strawberry Capital of the World. If that's not the case, then it definitely has the biggest Strawberry Festival in the world, in which case I would still have to conclude that Oxnard is definitely the Strawberry Capital of the World, and thus the circle of logic is complete--Oxnard owns you in berry making. Cabbage also calls Oxnard home, broccoli sometimes calls home and leaves a floret or two on the message machine, and possibly a celery or two. Let's not forget the mushrooms...once, a very large pile of mushrooms and horse manure (apparently that's a part of the farming process) caught fire and essentially tainted the air around Oxnard...the news from LA came out and everything. True story. Also, probably most importantly, the farms contribute to a large immigrant Mexican community.
Beaches. Expanses of beaches. Oxnard Shores. Silverstrand. Hollywood Beach. Hollywood-by-the-Sea. I believe about ten dozen more, give or take nine dozen. The houses in and around these beaches are probably the nicest in all of Oxnard, and if the houses themselves aren't that nice, then the fact that they're literally 10 to 346.8 feet from the sand sure is. The people in these houses are often upper to high-middle class white families. When you have all this and enviable waves, you have *ding* surf culture. *ding* skate culture....
...aaaaand *DING* PUNK. FUCKING. ROCK. Home to Nardcore, Oxnard Hardcore. Stalag 13, Aggression, RKL, Ill Repute, Dr. Know...um, No Motiv *cough*. All this has risen from the sandy, bleach-blond ashes of the beaches of Oxnard. If you think Nardcore is no big deal, which it may not be if you're not or have not at sometime been into punk in any way, then think again. Nardcore, and subsequently Oxnard, have their place on the national stage...recognition from New York to LA, if not but for two things: fruit. and Hardcore.
Oxnard may be punk as kitten with a stud collar (which at the same time screams kinky...which I couldn't definitively say Oxnard is), but at the same time it's fucking hippity hop. More than your momma. Oxnard is not Oxnard sans the chrome spinners--NAY sans the shiny plastic hubcap spinners, nor without 70s-80s era American cars e.g. the Monte Carlo or the Caprice, and especially the El Camino. Describing Oxnard is for naught without the 12" subwoofers blasting anything and everything short of Bela Bartok, useless without jackets for Los Raiders or Los Dodgers. In short, Oxnard makes all y'all look ghetto, mo'fucka.
I could go on about the basics of Oxnard, but really that's a lot of what you need to know. So what's there to do? Well, from the above said the beach is clearly a destination. However, as far as unique forms of diversion, the line gets drawn (in the sand, I suppose...) there, and the line is thin. You could probably golf...golf courses abound, especially nowadays. This I did for 14 years, btw. And no...I did not love it for all of those 14 years. Sorry golf, I cheated on you many times. Shopping is popular in this increasingly commercialized city. But few to no unique shopping experiences exist here...shopping centers pop up and fill with the latest biggest chain stores. And the same can be said for dining...we Oxnard type think we're hot shit when Krispy Kreme comes to town, or Chick-Fil-A (which, coincidentally enough, replaced the Krispy Kreme when the KK went out of business). Hometown Buffet? OH SHIT SON. Really, the best dining you'll probably find in Downtown, and Downtown is quite small indeed once you get to the meat of it. And that's mostly because of Taco de Mexico on 7th and Oxnard Blvd. Otherwise, nothing outstandingly unique in Oxnard. Nothing other than the sand (besides which is Pepe's Mexican, another good place). All that can be enough, sometimes.
At night, even less to do. For the automobile-less teenager, this town can potentially be terrible, and most dangerously, boring. Beach at night? Sexy, but not for everyone. Shopping...not unless 7-11 is particularly interesting. Good microwaveable burritos though, or so I hear. Though there may now only be one 7-11 in Oxnard, on C and Wooley, unless the one at the Citgo on Ventura and 5th is still open, which may be doubtful. I hope by now, you're starting to feel bored yourself. This is the feeling. And I'm sure city government is clueless as to why gangs are so very prolific in Oxnard...what else is there to do, but congregate? And in congregation, there is still nothing to do...you would think that we, your gracious teenagers of Oxnard, would be less violent and malevolent had you, the City, would just allow us something more and invite more than just commercial interests. I digress. The point is Oxnard can be boring.
Bored teens are dangerous.
You could start a hardcore band. But chances are, in my experience of listening to hardcore, going to hardcore shows, and trying to make a hardcore band...1) you won't get "big" and 2) you won't make anything unique or anything that can stand the test of time i.e. worth listening to in 6 months. (Sorry, but it's the truth.) Good thrills for a while though.
So Oxnard's made a lot of who I am. But it took choices...not between good or bad, God no. Not between rich or poor, that's not so much a decision. But the general attitudes, the goals and aspirations...that, a city can lay out, at least partially, and those are the paths that I dealt with. Nothing about Oxnard defines a single stereotype. No, too much disparity for that. Too many contrasts to lead down a definitive path in the middle. You can choose to build the path betwixt the ends, but if only because it doesn't exist. Not to say that people in Oxnard fit this mold or that mold. I don't think that's ever quite true for any human being anywhere in the world. But I believe there are definite lines in the sand between the people and their paths in Oxnard...I would be lying if I said otherwise.
So I hope I've captured the complex heart of Oxnard in these few paragraphs. In a few, I'll get to how this heart's a part of me.
Farms. Supposed Strawberry Capital of the World. If that's not the case, then it definitely has the biggest Strawberry Festival in the world, in which case I would still have to conclude that Oxnard is definitely the Strawberry Capital of the World, and thus the circle of logic is complete--Oxnard owns you in berry making. Cabbage also calls Oxnard home, broccoli sometimes calls home and leaves a floret or two on the message machine, and possibly a celery or two. Let's not forget the mushrooms...once, a very large pile of mushrooms and horse manure (apparently that's a part of the farming process) caught fire and essentially tainted the air around Oxnard...the news from LA came out and everything. True story. Also, probably most importantly, the farms contribute to a large immigrant Mexican community.
Beaches. Expanses of beaches. Oxnard Shores. Silverstrand. Hollywood Beach. Hollywood-by-the-Sea. I believe about ten dozen more, give or take nine dozen. The houses in and around these beaches are probably the nicest in all of Oxnard, and if the houses themselves aren't that nice, then the fact that they're literally 10 to 346.8 feet from the sand sure is. The people in these houses are often upper to high-middle class white families. When you have all this and enviable waves, you have *ding* surf culture. *ding* skate culture....
...aaaaand *DING* PUNK. FUCKING. ROCK. Home to Nardcore, Oxnard Hardcore. Stalag 13, Aggression, RKL, Ill Repute, Dr. Know...um, No Motiv *cough*. All this has risen from the sandy, bleach-blond ashes of the beaches of Oxnard. If you think Nardcore is no big deal, which it may not be if you're not or have not at sometime been into punk in any way, then think again. Nardcore, and subsequently Oxnard, have their place on the national stage...recognition from New York to LA, if not but for two things: fruit. and Hardcore.
Oxnard may be punk as kitten with a stud collar (which at the same time screams kinky...which I couldn't definitively say Oxnard is), but at the same time it's fucking hippity hop. More than your momma. Oxnard is not Oxnard sans the chrome spinners--NAY sans the shiny plastic hubcap spinners, nor without 70s-80s era American cars e.g. the Monte Carlo or the Caprice, and especially the El Camino. Describing Oxnard is for naught without the 12" subwoofers blasting anything and everything short of Bela Bartok, useless without jackets for Los Raiders or Los Dodgers. In short, Oxnard makes all y'all look ghetto, mo'fucka.
I could go on about the basics of Oxnard, but really that's a lot of what you need to know. So what's there to do? Well, from the above said the beach is clearly a destination. However, as far as unique forms of diversion, the line gets drawn (in the sand, I suppose...) there, and the line is thin. You could probably golf...golf courses abound, especially nowadays. This I did for 14 years, btw. And no...I did not love it for all of those 14 years. Sorry golf, I cheated on you many times. Shopping is popular in this increasingly commercialized city. But few to no unique shopping experiences exist here...shopping centers pop up and fill with the latest biggest chain stores. And the same can be said for dining...we Oxnard type think we're hot shit when Krispy Kreme comes to town, or Chick-Fil-A (which, coincidentally enough, replaced the Krispy Kreme when the KK went out of business). Hometown Buffet? OH SHIT SON. Really, the best dining you'll probably find in Downtown, and Downtown is quite small indeed once you get to the meat of it. And that's mostly because of Taco de Mexico on 7th and Oxnard Blvd. Otherwise, nothing outstandingly unique in Oxnard. Nothing other than the sand (besides which is Pepe's Mexican, another good place). All that can be enough, sometimes.
At night, even less to do. For the automobile-less teenager, this town can potentially be terrible, and most dangerously, boring. Beach at night? Sexy, but not for everyone. Shopping...not unless 7-11 is particularly interesting. Good microwaveable burritos though, or so I hear. Though there may now only be one 7-11 in Oxnard, on C and Wooley, unless the one at the Citgo on Ventura and 5th is still open, which may be doubtful. I hope by now, you're starting to feel bored yourself. This is the feeling. And I'm sure city government is clueless as to why gangs are so very prolific in Oxnard...what else is there to do, but congregate? And in congregation, there is still nothing to do...you would think that we, your gracious teenagers of Oxnard, would be less violent and malevolent had you, the City, would just allow us something more and invite more than just commercial interests. I digress. The point is Oxnard can be boring.
Bored teens are dangerous.
You could start a hardcore band. But chances are, in my experience of listening to hardcore, going to hardcore shows, and trying to make a hardcore band...1) you won't get "big" and 2) you won't make anything unique or anything that can stand the test of time i.e. worth listening to in 6 months. (Sorry, but it's the truth.) Good thrills for a while though.
So Oxnard's made a lot of who I am. But it took choices...not between good or bad, God no. Not between rich or poor, that's not so much a decision. But the general attitudes, the goals and aspirations...that, a city can lay out, at least partially, and those are the paths that I dealt with. Nothing about Oxnard defines a single stereotype. No, too much disparity for that. Too many contrasts to lead down a definitive path in the middle. You can choose to build the path betwixt the ends, but if only because it doesn't exist. Not to say that people in Oxnard fit this mold or that mold. I don't think that's ever quite true for any human being anywhere in the world. But I believe there are definite lines in the sand between the people and their paths in Oxnard...I would be lying if I said otherwise.
So I hope I've captured the complex heart of Oxnard in these few paragraphs. In a few, I'll get to how this heart's a part of me.
Again Again
Of
firsts
And so here we go. I've blogged before. But I was about 15 years old, in high school, thought I knew everything but knew shit, and had nothing better to do than blog.
Now I'm 19, in college, think I know everything but know shit (but I'll admit it now!), and have lots better to do than blog...but now I feel like I have more to say. More meaning under the words, and hopefully that means you get a little more meaning and reason out of reading this.
That's what I hope.
Btw, I'm not usually this serious. I just get a little pretentious after about 2:00AM ;)
I'll see you in the morning.
Now I'm 19, in college, think I know everything but know shit (but I'll admit it now!), and have lots better to do than blog...but now I feel like I have more to say. More meaning under the words, and hopefully that means you get a little more meaning and reason out of reading this.
That's what I hope.
Btw, I'm not usually this serious. I just get a little pretentious after about 2:00AM ;)
I'll see you in the morning.
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