Home of the World

[Continuing from my last post]

Two homes. Really, you probably could have seen that coming, but I didn't, not at the time at least...especially when you're a person who feels homeless. The idea of a home always being that one place. That was the limiting factor for me and keeping me from seeing that I had two homes. We always feel that home is a central point, a hub for our lives from which all other experiences radiate...but when that happens, we can only be tied to that hub. In that vein of thought, we can only evaluate our current experiences based on one relative point, regardless of how vast and meaningful that one central point is. Home.

That's one way you can think of home...as something that we find so comfortable, so known to us--that thing we're truly wise about and, as a result, is so much a part of us that we come to unconsciously evaluate all other things in our lives based on it. That's home.

So in a way, to have one home "keeps us grounded"...but at the same time, it's so limiting. How sad, and heck, depressing to only be able to perceive the world based on the one thing we call home.

So to have two homes...it's not as simple as moving to the next city over from your current "home" and calling the new one "home." It takes familiarity, and yes, an innate connection to this place to make it a home...and that connection is not only knowledge of location, but of the attitudes of the people, their aspirations...knowing the way any one place carries itself--and in knowing all of that, you find a sort of comfort and belonging. If you can know that, whether after one month or one year (though more likely after the latter), then you can call it home. At that point, you can evaluate your life based on your experiences there. That's home.

I feel like I'm at this point now...having two homes. I've spent nearly two solid years in Los Angeles, with almost full independence for the first time. I've lived through more and grown as much in these two years as in the 17 years prior, though maybe in different ways. I feel all the wiser...being around people from all corners of the United States, and even the World! How grand. It's enlightening. I know USC inside and out, the people there decently, and even the neighborhood around USC, if only because it can be so similar to how it is around Oxnard. I'm a little more wise now, and I would like to think I've found another Home.

I know it may all sound petty, but it's huge to me. I'm 19 years old. Shit, I'm nothing aren't I. Who am I to say what home is, to say that yes, I've truly found home in another place, no less going to school. In the pursuit of riches. Well. More in the pursuit of *get ready to groan* true knowledge. It's true though.


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And then I thought of something new. To make a long story short, I had been trying to make sense of what there was to live for, what good there was in the world...as mentioned in the previous post, "What is the meaning of life?" Even moreso, what's the meaning of life completely independent of any religion or belief system? What can be considered one of the noblest goals in life, whether Taoist or Muslim? Obviously, can't cover all the bases but, shit might as well try huh...

(Now I don't know if this is a novel idea, but it isn't borrowed from anywhere except my conversations with a handful of friends. Anyone else who has the same idea...well, good on ya, we're in the same boat...)

To make a home of the world. To make the world's experiences mine. I think most, if not all, the world's evil is driven by some sort of greed. And if that's the case, then I'm greedy for all those experiences, but instead of evil, maybe this kind of greed could lead to some good. To understand the wants, the needs, and the attitudes of the world...the desires, and then to be able to do something meaningful about it. That is a noble goal.

And if you haven't gotten my point by now, a "home" needn't be a place where you live for x months or years, though it will entail some of that in order to make a home of the world. It just means understanding the cultures, the attitudes, the locales and their implications...enough to allow you to judge all things in your life not based on one set of meaningful values, but a whole wealth of them.

It's impossible. That's for sure. But the pursuit is worth it. And in the pursuit of making a home of the world, I hope all other good things would follow...pity and justice, modesty and confidence, wisdom and proper impulse, an understanding of the limits of mankind and yet the unlimited possibilities.

Ultimately, hopefully all these things would allow me to leave the world with more than I had taken...to give more than I had consumed, and to give in meaningful ways. To enrich myself and enrich the lives of others. And not just one person or a handful of people, but whole populations...to enrich the welfare of the world. It just all may be possible by a pursuit of a home of the world. If it all turns for naught, what harm was there...but I would be hard pressed to believe that no good could come of it.

A home of the world is more than just a search for a place, and purchase of a plot. So much more. And it's good enough reason for living.